Family Is a Lot Like a Fist!!

Ever since I graduated high school I have been away from home (as in living in other states or out of the country). Immediately after graduating high school I left the country to go serve a 2 year mission for my church in Caracas Venezuela. After returning home, 6 months later, I left for college. At school I met my sweet heart and we were married. We moved to Houston, Texas for a summer door-to-door sales job. Then we transferred schools up to the panhandle of Idaho to the University of Idaho. Upon graduating we moved to Saint George, Utah where two of our sons were born: Dominic & Cash. We then moved to Detroit.

Some say I’m running from something others see it as me pursuing my goals. I was born and raised in southern California. I loved it there. I am very independent and wanted to venture out, explore and see what the world had to offer. But lately I have had a change of heart. It has been 11 years now since I have been very close to my family (physical distance wise). After living in Metro Detroit for 1 year I have realized how important quality of life is to me and family.

I will admit I miss my parents and I miss my siblings. It's time to venture back...

A friend of mine gave me an audio CD the other day of a live recording of Frank Abagnale. Ever since I saw "Catch Me If You Can" I was always intrigued with his story. He never does interviews and very few actually know this mans real story. Well on this special occasion of this live recording he personally shares his story.

At age 16 he was pulled out of class and taken to a place to meet his parents. He had no idea what was happening. His parents weren't there to meet him outside, they were already inside. So the doors swing open and he is escorted into a court of law where his parents are getting divorced. The judge greets him and then asks Frank Abagnale of his two parents with whom he was going to choose to live with.

He did not answer the question and ran away never to see his parents again for 7 years and that is what started his journey.

The following is a very powerful excerpt from the live recording that really hit home for me that I would like to share with you, this is Frank Abagnale sharing some of his wisdom from what he has learned from his life:

"To put life into perspective is to put it into one word. Why we exist as a human being, is not difficult to understand, for life - the meaning and the essence of life, comes down to one simple word called family.

"Family is a lot like a fist, the most powerful force on the face of the earth - together; but when you separate it, it slowly deteriorates and eventually it falls apart. I’m here to tell you that success comes to anyone who tries to achieve it, honestly, ethically and straight forward. But success is far from everything. Materialistic things anyone can buy, money anyone can obtain, but your family is something God gave you and gave you to cherish and to build and is the most important thing you will ever have in your life. You are a fool if you put anything before your family.

"Two people brought you into this world, two people raised you in this world; who only until you become a mom and dad and know how much you love your own children will you ever understand how much they loved you and sometimes it is a little too late – they are already gone.

"I never admired a man much for his money; I’ve never admired a man much for his intelligence. What I admire in a restaurant is when I look across and see a man with his wife and his children. A man who loves his wife, loyal to her, a man who is there for his children and for his family all the time. For in the eyes of God, as in the eyes of all human beings, the man who puts his family first above everything else is by far the most respected; the most man of men that there is."

So there you have it. This is coming from a man who never got to see his father again after that day he ran out of that court room. His father passed while he was in prison in France. This is a man who was placed in a prison in France that was 5 feet by 5 feet by feet. He was not told how long he would serve in that prison, that was part of the punishment. Frank was 6 foot 3 inches. He couldn't see his own hand it was so dark. He never saw a soul while in prison and never sun daylight. He lost 100 pounds in 6 months and left that prison not able to walk.

Enjoy every single day you have on this earth - take advantage of it - live it to the fullest and don't sit around and wait for anything! Go get it.

Milestones of Life

This past weekend my Father came to town to visit us for the first time here in Metro Detroit. And boy did I have an agenda packed for us. There is so much history here - it blows my mind. But one particular afternoon we visited Meadow Brook Hall, also known as the Dodge Brothers Mansion (Dodge as in Dodge the car).

Here is what Meadow Brook Hall is all about:

"Meadow Brook Hall is the fourth largest historic house museum in the United States and is renowned for its superb craftsmanship, architectural detailing and grand scale. Built between 1926 and 1929 as the residence of Matilda Dodge Wilson (widow of auto pioneer John Dodge) and her second husband, lumber broker Alfred G. Wilson, the 110-room, 88,000-square-foot, Tudor-revival style mansion is complete with vast collections of original art and furnishings." And it sits on only a mere 1,500 acre estate.

This place is huge, incredible and beautiful. One room really stood out to me and that was the study. The entire room was paneled with solid wood from top to bottom. At the very top of the wall there were various "charactchers" that depicted different milestones in John Dodge's life. And for some reason that word "milestone" rang true to me that day.

I see life as a journey. I just turned 30 years old this year. I have a beautiful wife, two outstanding boys and one on the way (we are so excited - hoping for a girl). Right now is a huge milestone for me. All of my business ventures failed. I have been struggling to provide for my family, I am scrambling to get a job; I sit down, look up and think, "What was I thinking? What is happening? I'm 30 years old, with a family and don't even have a career to sustain our needs."

So right now is a MILESTONE for me - a huge one. Lets say this is a turning point for me. I'm closing out the chapter of the last 4 years of my real estate investing, internet marketing and the ups & downs that come with being an entrepreneur.

What is ahead?

I have a great opportunity to work side by side with my father and brother. Up until now I have avoided the family business to pursue my own ventures, but now I am ready. There are great opportunities there for me and my family. Much more stable income. My wife and I need stability very badly. My tolerance for risk is starting to recede, I will not be going "all-in" anymore, and will be much more frugal with what we have.

I've learned a ton over the last 4 years. Have absolutely no regrets. The last 2 years have been tough - I will admit that. So I'm going to regroup some now but I still have very ambitious goals for myself in the future.

Don't get me wrong the entrepreneur in me is still very alive.

The plan is to maintain a steady income outside of all of my crazy ventures. Goals that I am aspiring to, would be:

• Author a book one day
• Get into the seminar/platform speaking business
• Visit every National Park with my family
• Overhaul my 1986 Chevy Suburban
• Create my own mentorship school for aspiring entrepreneurs
• Hike the tallest peak in each state & document it with photographs
• Cycle a century in each state
  

Feel free to share any milestones you have experienced in your life below in the comment section. May you stamp your own personal milestones in life to become a better, better person.

Quality of Life...

Back in January of this year (2009) I wrote a post titled "Success is not Calculated - It's Earned"
A friend of mine replied back which is below, via email. He is discussing quality of life. This is definitely a lesson learned for me and of course I had to realize the importance of this concept on my own at my own time. This was 8 months later...

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I read your blog...Its interesting story! If you would like to discuss my experience on the road to financial independence and how it relates to yours give me a call sometime. Please understand that my long email is not an effort to deter your admirable efforts it is simply a chance to reflect upon some of the lessons I learned. How you choose to apply them is completely up to you!

I had to learn a bitter lesson about this priceless abstract concept called "Quality of Life".

I too was absolutely determined to succeed as an entrepreneur and reach financial independence. I made tremendous sacrifices, subjecting myself and my family to all manner of hardship to pursue the goal and dream of financial independence. Along the rough and unpredictable road I would rationalize the hardships and sacrifices with everlasting hope that the rewards would justify the means (hoping and praying that all of the hardships and sacrifices would eventually have some amazing payoff).

Much like you I was determined to “Succeed” and I was unwilling to accept failure, quitting, or the notion of getting JOB as an option. I too believed that as long as I kept pursuing my goals, dreams, and ambitions that eventually I would find my “Big Break”.

In my mad rush to accomplish financial independence, one day I ironically met a guy at a “Free Real Estate Seminar”. This guy’s name is Tony and we met for lunch at a Mexican restaurant in Garden Grove. I told him about all of the things I was pursuing and all of the hardships and sacrifices I had incurred to accomplish my goals. He kindly and carefully explained to me this abstract concept called “Quality of Life”.

Although, Tony commended me for my ambitions he softly explained that life is too short not to enjoy every minute of everyday. Explaining that Time (not money or real estate) is our greatest asset; once it is gone it is gone for good even with all the money in the world can you not buy it back.

I realized a lot of important lessons that day with Tony as he explained this abstract concept called “Quality of Life”:

• My goals and dreams were mine (not my family)
• In my boundless determination to “Succeed” I had put my pride and ego above my family’s immediate health, welfare, and happiness
• How much is my family’s immediate health, welfare, and happiness worth?
• I was so determined not to fail, quit, or get a JOB that I was in reality sacrificing priceless opportunities and moments with my family everyday
• Can I put a price tag on spending quality stress-free time with my family
• Can I put a price tag on having a happy wife
• Can I put a price tag on being able to sleep well at night knowing that I will have enough money for all of my bills and more
• Can I put a price tag on knowing that I will get paid to go to work each day and not having the stress, torment, and anxiety of trying to figure out where I was going to get my next pay check

I whole heartedly endorse the pursuit of obtaining multiple sources of passive residual income and the ultimate goal of financial independence. However, I would warn you if your goals and pursuits are substantially and negatively encroaching on you and your family’s quality of life your goals are probably not worth the present value sacrifice despite the perceived future value reward.

I hope you will ponder and consider this email. I wish you well in your pursuits.

Stay in Touch!

Warmest Regards,

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Reflecting on this now it really hits home. Unfortunately as an entrepreneur I have hit my rock bottom temporarily. I have no regrets other than the pain and unfortunate heart ache my family has incurred as I pursued something that never came to fruition.

Was it worth it? YES!

Would I have done things differently? Absolutely. I risked way too much way too fast and was expecting a wind fall at the end of this venture - yet not providing the basic necessities for my family along the way.

I have realized that quality of life is so important for me and my family. I am at the point now that it is simply not worth it. I just want to be able to have the means to take off for the weekend occasionally with my wife and two boys and enjoy what nature has to offer - stress free.

More to come - until next post.

Only at the Precipice Do You Evolve

Just the other evening my wife Mary and I rented a movie. This is off the subject but have you ever heard of Red Box? What a phenonmal business model, virtually no employees, creates traffic for the grocery store, $1 a day for movie rentals, no late fees - incredible! Anyhow, we rented The Day the Earth Stood Still with Keanu Reeves. The movie was alright, but the reason I bring it up is because of this one part in the film where Klaatu (Keanu Reeves) and Professor Barnhardt (John Cleese) have this discussion. Klaatu is an alien that was sent to earth to determine whether the human race should be exterminated off the face of the planet. Professor Barnhardt, a Nobel Prize winner for biological altruism is trying to convince Klaatu to not exterminate the human race from planet earth - here is their thought provoking dialogue:

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Professor Barnhardt: There must be alternatives. You must have some technology that can solve our problem.

Klaatu: Your problem is not technology. The problem is you. You lack the will to change.

Professor Barnhardt: Then help us change.

Klaatu: I cannot change your nature. You treat the world as you treat each other.

Professor Barnhardt: But every civilization reaches a crisis point eventually.

Klaatu: Most of them don’t make it.

Professor Barnhardt: Yours did. How?

Klaatu: Our sun was dying. We had to evolve in order to survive.

Professor Barnhardt: So it was only when your world was threatened with destruction that you became what you are now.

Klaatu: Yes.

Professor Barnhardt: Well, that’s where we are. You say we’re on the brink of destruction, and you’re right. But it’s only on the brink that people find the will to change. Only at the precipice do we evolve. This is our moment. Don’t take it from us. We are close to an answer.

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We could interpret this a million ways and discuss it for hours, but I'm going to keep it short and to the point. When I'm speaking to you, I'm speaking more to myself.

You are the problem!

You lack the will to change!

It is only at the crisis point that you are willing to change and evolve.

You have reached your Precipice...

Are you willing to pay the price in order to succeed?

YES YOU ARE! Don't you quit, don't you ever give up. There is still some fight left in you. You are blessed beyond your wildest dreams - you just need to go out there and realize it, make it a reality. I believe in you, don't let me down. You are their only hope.

Success is an Endurance Sport

Well my wife is certainly delighted that the 2009 Tour de France has came to an end. Due to the fact I did not have the Versus channel - I was glued to my laptop watching the Tour de France on the Versus web channel just about every morning for the month of July. I am an avid cyclist but the reason I tuned in this year was because of Lance Armstrong - I was impressed with his comeback. Don't worry I'm not going to bore you with cycling terms and facts this post. I want to focus more on how Team Astana and cycling relates to achieving success!

I have had more than my fair share of adversity this year. Yet the goal at hand has still not changed - I want to achieve financial independence. My mindset has changed though and here is why. I have realized that success - true sustainable success is going to take time (I wanted it to happen over night but...). Success is an endurance sport, not a sprint. And success is a team sport.

To become a pro cyclist is a challenge in and of itself. Not that I have much insight on what it takes to become a pro because I haven't tried. But these guys freakin haul butt, they practically live on their bikes and are fit beyond imagination. So to become a member of the club and even compete you have to put in the miles. That is required by all cyclists. And with those miles comes persecution, lactic acid, pain and real life questioning as to why you choose to undergo such pain. Sound familiar my entrepreneur friend?

Second, to become a champion one needs endurance! Success is not a sprint. These cyclists ride over 2,150 miles in a 3 week period, riding about 100 miles every day. They ascend over 62,000 feet in the mountains, averaging speeds of 25 miles per hour throughout the stage and have reached over 70 mph on downhills. What does one do when the pain kicks in when striving for your goals? Or if a close friend or relative tells you, "You can't do it, you're crazy".

Third, success is a team sport. In the cycling world you have what is called the peloton. That is where the majority of riders hang out. Its pretty easy to stay with the crowd, no wind, plenty of drafting, less pain, but you don't get recognized for being in the peloton. Alberto Contador could not have won the Tour de France on his own, he had the assistance and support of his team and a huge mentor with years of experience and strategy Lance Armstrong. The team protects you, they set you up for winning and you get to draft off your teammates for the majority of the stage, which in turn allows you to preserve your energy to be used when attacked by your opponents. Each teammate serves a different purpose on the team throughout the entire journey. When the going gets tough who is your team that you can turn to for support?

Being a champion and reaching ultimate success takes courage, tenacity and especially endurance. Don't give up, never quit and the sun will rise again in the morning. Lets work together to be successful. Life is a journey...here are the thoughts of Tony Robbins in his book, "Unlimited Power".

"It is not what happens to us that separates failures from successes. It is how we perceive it and what we do about what 'happens' that makes the difference.

Did you know, "Only a small percentage of people really live the life of their dreams. Why? It takes effort. It takes consistent action.

"In every man and woman's life there comes a time of ultimate challenge - a time when every resource we have is tested. A time when life seems unfair. A time when our faith, our values, our patience, our compassion, our ability to persist, are all pushed to our limits and beyond. Some people use such tests as opportunities to become better people - others allow these experiences of life to destroy them.

"Why do some people overcome horrible, unimaginable adversity and make their lives a triumph, while others, in spite of every advantage, turn their lives into a disaster? Why do some people take any experience and make it work for them, while others take any experience and make it work against them?"

Are you willing to pay the price?