Need an Escape From Fear?

During crazy times in my life I have found that I need an escape in order to stay afloat mentally, physically and emotionally. Things can get soo overwhelming that I literally shut down, fall to the wayside and just get tossed to & fro like a yellow rubber ducky in the ocean - and its messed up. So what I found out is that I needed an escape, a place I can go or something that I could do that would be my constant, my recharge, to clear the slate, get plugged in and completely reboot fresh.

For me, cycling is my escape. I cycle about 3 times a week and log about 30-40 miles each time. Not only do I enjoy it, but its a place I can go to take control of what is in front of me. Control is a big deal to me and I need that in my life. I get to size people up and compete. I love to sweat, work-out and have an instant feeling of accomplishment. I like to be recognized and for people to say, "Hey man nice ride, it was fun." I like to be outside and experience the scenery of beautiful lakes, magnificent houses and nature.

I would like to follow this discussion with a question.

What does it take to gain a greater appreciation for life?

In my opinion take away whatever it is you have, go without for a week, a month, a year. Go experience life in someone else's shoes. Or even better go put yourself through excruciating physical pain, like running until you can't run anymore, cycle until your legs burn so bad you want to scream, go live in a 3rd world country for 1 year and only speak their language, go punch a bag until your arms want to fall off, go run stadium stairs until you can't breathe, go do an Iron Man - Do It! That will give you a greater appreciation for life

Here is a little pep talk before you go:

Get your freakin confidence back and kick butt! Success is there you just need to get off the ground and go get it! Screw them, who cares what they think - it's about you, quit moping around and do something!! Everyday people make money, some slowly, others do it in their sleep. REPROGRAM YOUR MINDSET! You are a millionaire, you just need to realize it monetarily! Trust me your are worth it! Money is a tool, it's neutral - it's what you do with it that makes it a positive impact on you and the world or a negative one.

Check this out - it is an excerpt from Marianne Williamson's book "A Return to Love"

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves,
Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us.
It is not just in some; it is in everyone.

And, as we let our own light shine, we consciously give
other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.

You Are Worth It!

Family Is a Lot Like a Fist!!

Ever since I graduated high school I have been away from home (as in living in other states or out of the country). Immediately after graduating high school I left the country to go serve a 2 year mission for my church in Caracas Venezuela. After returning home, 6 months later, I left for college. At school I met my sweet heart and we were married. We moved to Houston, Texas for a summer door-to-door sales job. Then we transferred schools up to the panhandle of Idaho to the University of Idaho. Upon graduating we moved to Saint George, Utah where two of our sons were born: Dominic & Cash. We then moved to Detroit.

Some say I’m running from something others see it as me pursuing my goals. I was born and raised in southern California. I loved it there. I am very independent and wanted to venture out, explore and see what the world had to offer. But lately I have had a change of heart. It has been 11 years now since I have been very close to my family (physical distance wise). After living in Metro Detroit for 1 year I have realized how important quality of life is to me and family.

I will admit I miss my parents and I miss my siblings. It's time to venture back...

A friend of mine gave me an audio CD the other day of a live recording of Frank Abagnale. Ever since I saw "Catch Me If You Can" I was always intrigued with his story. He never does interviews and very few actually know this mans real story. Well on this special occasion of this live recording he personally shares his story.

At age 16 he was pulled out of class and taken to a place to meet his parents. He had no idea what was happening. His parents weren't there to meet him outside, they were already inside. So the doors swing open and he is escorted into a court of law where his parents are getting divorced. The judge greets him and then asks Frank Abagnale of his two parents with whom he was going to choose to live with.

He did not answer the question and ran away never to see his parents again for 7 years and that is what started his journey.

The following is a very powerful excerpt from the live recording that really hit home for me that I would like to share with you, this is Frank Abagnale sharing some of his wisdom from what he has learned from his life:

"To put life into perspective is to put it into one word. Why we exist as a human being, is not difficult to understand, for life - the meaning and the essence of life, comes down to one simple word called family.

"Family is a lot like a fist, the most powerful force on the face of the earth - together; but when you separate it, it slowly deteriorates and eventually it falls apart. I’m here to tell you that success comes to anyone who tries to achieve it, honestly, ethically and straight forward. But success is far from everything. Materialistic things anyone can buy, money anyone can obtain, but your family is something God gave you and gave you to cherish and to build and is the most important thing you will ever have in your life. You are a fool if you put anything before your family.

"Two people brought you into this world, two people raised you in this world; who only until you become a mom and dad and know how much you love your own children will you ever understand how much they loved you and sometimes it is a little too late – they are already gone.

"I never admired a man much for his money; I’ve never admired a man much for his intelligence. What I admire in a restaurant is when I look across and see a man with his wife and his children. A man who loves his wife, loyal to her, a man who is there for his children and for his family all the time. For in the eyes of God, as in the eyes of all human beings, the man who puts his family first above everything else is by far the most respected; the most man of men that there is."

So there you have it. This is coming from a man who never got to see his father again after that day he ran out of that court room. His father passed while he was in prison in France. This is a man who was placed in a prison in France that was 5 feet by 5 feet by feet. He was not told how long he would serve in that prison, that was part of the punishment. Frank was 6 foot 3 inches. He couldn't see his own hand it was so dark. He never saw a soul while in prison and never sun daylight. He lost 100 pounds in 6 months and left that prison not able to walk.

Enjoy every single day you have on this earth - take advantage of it - live it to the fullest and don't sit around and wait for anything! Go get it.

Milestones of Life

This past weekend my Father came to town to visit us for the first time here in Metro Detroit. And boy did I have an agenda packed for us. There is so much history here - it blows my mind. But one particular afternoon we visited Meadow Brook Hall, also known as the Dodge Brothers Mansion (Dodge as in Dodge the car).

Here is what Meadow Brook Hall is all about:

"Meadow Brook Hall is the fourth largest historic house museum in the United States and is renowned for its superb craftsmanship, architectural detailing and grand scale. Built between 1926 and 1929 as the residence of Matilda Dodge Wilson (widow of auto pioneer John Dodge) and her second husband, lumber broker Alfred G. Wilson, the 110-room, 88,000-square-foot, Tudor-revival style mansion is complete with vast collections of original art and furnishings." And it sits on only a mere 1,500 acre estate.

This place is huge, incredible and beautiful. One room really stood out to me and that was the study. The entire room was paneled with solid wood from top to bottom. At the very top of the wall there were various "charactchers" that depicted different milestones in John Dodge's life. And for some reason that word "milestone" rang true to me that day.

I see life as a journey. I just turned 30 years old this year. I have a beautiful wife, two outstanding boys and one on the way (we are so excited - hoping for a girl). Right now is a huge milestone for me. All of my business ventures failed. I have been struggling to provide for my family, I am scrambling to get a job; I sit down, look up and think, "What was I thinking? What is happening? I'm 30 years old, with a family and don't even have a career to sustain our needs."

So right now is a MILESTONE for me - a huge one. Lets say this is a turning point for me. I'm closing out the chapter of the last 4 years of my real estate investing, internet marketing and the ups & downs that come with being an entrepreneur.

What is ahead?

I have a great opportunity to work side by side with my father and brother. Up until now I have avoided the family business to pursue my own ventures, but now I am ready. There are great opportunities there for me and my family. Much more stable income. My wife and I need stability very badly. My tolerance for risk is starting to recede, I will not be going "all-in" anymore, and will be much more frugal with what we have.

I've learned a ton over the last 4 years. Have absolutely no regrets. The last 2 years have been tough - I will admit that. So I'm going to regroup some now but I still have very ambitious goals for myself in the future.

Don't get me wrong the entrepreneur in me is still very alive.

The plan is to maintain a steady income outside of all of my crazy ventures. Goals that I am aspiring to, would be:

• Author a book one day
• Get into the seminar/platform speaking business
• Visit every National Park with my family
• Overhaul my 1986 Chevy Suburban
• Create my own mentorship school for aspiring entrepreneurs
• Hike the tallest peak in each state & document it with photographs
• Cycle a century in each state
  

Feel free to share any milestones you have experienced in your life below in the comment section. May you stamp your own personal milestones in life to become a better, better person.

Quality of Life...

Back in January of this year (2009) I wrote a post titled "Success is not Calculated - It's Earned"
A friend of mine replied back which is below, via email. He is discussing quality of life. This is definitely a lesson learned for me and of course I had to realize the importance of this concept on my own at my own time. This was 8 months later...

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I read your blog...Its interesting story! If you would like to discuss my experience on the road to financial independence and how it relates to yours give me a call sometime. Please understand that my long email is not an effort to deter your admirable efforts it is simply a chance to reflect upon some of the lessons I learned. How you choose to apply them is completely up to you!

I had to learn a bitter lesson about this priceless abstract concept called "Quality of Life".

I too was absolutely determined to succeed as an entrepreneur and reach financial independence. I made tremendous sacrifices, subjecting myself and my family to all manner of hardship to pursue the goal and dream of financial independence. Along the rough and unpredictable road I would rationalize the hardships and sacrifices with everlasting hope that the rewards would justify the means (hoping and praying that all of the hardships and sacrifices would eventually have some amazing payoff).

Much like you I was determined to “Succeed” and I was unwilling to accept failure, quitting, or the notion of getting JOB as an option. I too believed that as long as I kept pursuing my goals, dreams, and ambitions that eventually I would find my “Big Break”.

In my mad rush to accomplish financial independence, one day I ironically met a guy at a “Free Real Estate Seminar”. This guy’s name is Tony and we met for lunch at a Mexican restaurant in Garden Grove. I told him about all of the things I was pursuing and all of the hardships and sacrifices I had incurred to accomplish my goals. He kindly and carefully explained to me this abstract concept called “Quality of Life”.

Although, Tony commended me for my ambitions he softly explained that life is too short not to enjoy every minute of everyday. Explaining that Time (not money or real estate) is our greatest asset; once it is gone it is gone for good even with all the money in the world can you not buy it back.

I realized a lot of important lessons that day with Tony as he explained this abstract concept called “Quality of Life”:

• My goals and dreams were mine (not my family)
• In my boundless determination to “Succeed” I had put my pride and ego above my family’s immediate health, welfare, and happiness
• How much is my family’s immediate health, welfare, and happiness worth?
• I was so determined not to fail, quit, or get a JOB that I was in reality sacrificing priceless opportunities and moments with my family everyday
• Can I put a price tag on spending quality stress-free time with my family
• Can I put a price tag on having a happy wife
• Can I put a price tag on being able to sleep well at night knowing that I will have enough money for all of my bills and more
• Can I put a price tag on knowing that I will get paid to go to work each day and not having the stress, torment, and anxiety of trying to figure out where I was going to get my next pay check

I whole heartedly endorse the pursuit of obtaining multiple sources of passive residual income and the ultimate goal of financial independence. However, I would warn you if your goals and pursuits are substantially and negatively encroaching on you and your family’s quality of life your goals are probably not worth the present value sacrifice despite the perceived future value reward.

I hope you will ponder and consider this email. I wish you well in your pursuits.

Stay in Touch!

Warmest Regards,

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Reflecting on this now it really hits home. Unfortunately as an entrepreneur I have hit my rock bottom temporarily. I have no regrets other than the pain and unfortunate heart ache my family has incurred as I pursued something that never came to fruition.

Was it worth it? YES!

Would I have done things differently? Absolutely. I risked way too much way too fast and was expecting a wind fall at the end of this venture - yet not providing the basic necessities for my family along the way.

I have realized that quality of life is so important for me and my family. I am at the point now that it is simply not worth it. I just want to be able to have the means to take off for the weekend occasionally with my wife and two boys and enjoy what nature has to offer - stress free.

More to come - until next post.

Only at the Precipice Do You Evolve

Just the other evening my wife Mary and I rented a movie. This is off the subject but have you ever heard of Red Box? What a phenonmal business model, virtually no employees, creates traffic for the grocery store, $1 a day for movie rentals, no late fees - incredible! Anyhow, we rented The Day the Earth Stood Still with Keanu Reeves. The movie was alright, but the reason I bring it up is because of this one part in the film where Klaatu (Keanu Reeves) and Professor Barnhardt (John Cleese) have this discussion. Klaatu is an alien that was sent to earth to determine whether the human race should be exterminated off the face of the planet. Professor Barnhardt, a Nobel Prize winner for biological altruism is trying to convince Klaatu to not exterminate the human race from planet earth - here is their thought provoking dialogue:

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Professor Barnhardt: There must be alternatives. You must have some technology that can solve our problem.

Klaatu: Your problem is not technology. The problem is you. You lack the will to change.

Professor Barnhardt: Then help us change.

Klaatu: I cannot change your nature. You treat the world as you treat each other.

Professor Barnhardt: But every civilization reaches a crisis point eventually.

Klaatu: Most of them don’t make it.

Professor Barnhardt: Yours did. How?

Klaatu: Our sun was dying. We had to evolve in order to survive.

Professor Barnhardt: So it was only when your world was threatened with destruction that you became what you are now.

Klaatu: Yes.

Professor Barnhardt: Well, that’s where we are. You say we’re on the brink of destruction, and you’re right. But it’s only on the brink that people find the will to change. Only at the precipice do we evolve. This is our moment. Don’t take it from us. We are close to an answer.

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We could interpret this a million ways and discuss it for hours, but I'm going to keep it short and to the point. When I'm speaking to you, I'm speaking more to myself.

You are the problem!

You lack the will to change!

It is only at the crisis point that you are willing to change and evolve.

You have reached your Precipice...

Are you willing to pay the price in order to succeed?

YES YOU ARE! Don't you quit, don't you ever give up. There is still some fight left in you. You are blessed beyond your wildest dreams - you just need to go out there and realize it, make it a reality. I believe in you, don't let me down. You are their only hope.

Do You Demand Success or Survival?

I want to shed a little light on your situation right now from a brief 9 minute experience I had. I was listening to a John Maxwell CD today in the car. And he posed a very interesting question that provoked me. In essence what I concluded is that I need to plant seeds, many seeds in order to reap any degree of success. In other words, I need to give beyond expectation to my intended receiver.

Now, many years ago I was flipping through a book and this individual had listed off his goals. There were over 100 goals and they entailed a lot of travel and exploration nationally and internationally. This inspired me to think very big. But this was a very long time ago when I was in grade school. I have since let go of those dreams, until they were rekindled recently when I read The 4 Hour Work Week by Tim Ferriss.

I have had many days this year of reflection as to why I have not be given more? Why have I not achieved what I set out to do? That was until I witnessed the video above. I can sit in self-pity and wonder why I am not or why I do not have...but the truth of the matter is I have been blessed beyond measure.

If you spent the 9 minutes to watch the video above you would have learned of an incredible kid by the name of Adam Bender. Adam is only 8 years old and he is having more success than the typical 8 year old kid. He is the leading scorer on his soccer team, he is the best quarterback his team has ever had, he is one heck of a slugger at baseball & a sound catcher. He is accomplishing all of this with ONE leg!

Adam Bender is an inspiration to me. Lance Armstrong once said that his cancer cured him of laziness. Folks, do you demand success or survival? What is separating you from the pack? What drives Adam Bender to be what he is today? And how exactly did he overcome his physical setback mentally? Do you really have it that bad? If not, then what can possibly hold you back if Adam Bender is out there having the time of his life?

Why can't I run a marathon? Why can't I complete an Iron Man? What is stopping me from reaching the level of success that I desire? I am more than capable - the only thing holding me back is...ME!

If I told you a 60 something year old man completed an Iron Man would you believe me? What if I told you that he not only completed the Iron Man, but that he carried his son the entire competition? Now, in retrospect...if this old man did that, I can definitely do an Iron Man, I guess it's all a matter of perspective. Take a look below:



YOU are the single most challenging obstacle to overcome. Choose to allow yourself to be successful. Implement discipline and most of all COMMIT!

What separates you from Adam Bender?

The Detroit Lions, GM, Ford & Chrysler - What do they all have in common?

I have been thinking quite a bit lately about teams & organizations. What makes them click? What makes them tick? What makes teams more successful than others? Why are their teams that make winning look so easy? On the surface it will appear I am talking about sports teams, but deep down I am discussing more than just that. I want to dig down to the fundamentals of not only teams but businesses and organizations and what does it take exactly for X amount of people to be able to cooperate, communicate and coexist with one another...putting the team first and the individual second? Let's get to it!

I watch football occasionally, so I am not going to claim that I am a fan by any means but the Detroit Lions are sub par right now. It's humiliating...I bet a college squad could beat. So wherein lies the issue? Is it a lack of talent? Did firing Matt Millen, the team president cause any drastic changes? Are they calling the wrong plays? What will it take for the Detroit Lions to win a super bowl or any team for that matter? What will it take for the Detroit Lions to win a single game!? Should they just quit playing for the rest of the season? Why should they even keep trying? Are they learning anything from this terrible season?

I read a great article about one month ago in Men's Journal titled, Brotherhood of the Offensive Lineman of the New York Giants, the reigning super bowl champions-take a look.

No other unit in any sport must function as symbiotically as an offensive line. Baseball infielders work in sync, but only sporadically. Basketball players are all over the place. Soccer players too. Rowers work together, but their mission is too simple to count. Defensive linemen — usually a threesome or a quartet — run coordinated stunts, but basically they’re lone assassins. The offensive line, however, fanning out from the center, who is always drawn on blackboards as a circle with an “x” through it while the others are simply circles, must correctly choose their targets, hold their blocks simultaneously and in cohesion, and remain engaged to the end, or else the dam is breached, the wall torn asunder. And they do it in near obscurity.

“Playing O-line you have to take your ego, put it in your back pocket, and zip it up,” says Jim Covert, the former Pro Bowl left tackle for the Chicago Bears during their Walter Payton/Jim McMahon heyday. “When you win, you had nothing to do with it. Lose, it’s all your fault. You play against first- and second-down defensive linemen, third-down rushers, specialists coming in and out — 70 or so plays, and if you’re successful 68 times, with two plays being a sack and a tackle-for-loss, you failed.”

It takes a tight line to be effective. And it’s hard to find a tighter group than these Giants. Seubert has described them as operating like five fingers of the same hand (making sure to point out that O’Hara is the middle finger). They’ve been together for four years, an eternity in pro football. They eat together at team dinners, barbecue together, and last spring they were at Seubert’s Celebrity Trap Shoot charity event together in Wisconsin. Fifteen-hundred-plus pounds of meat and loaded weapons?

Their durability is a big part of their success. Snee has started 48 straight regular-season games. McKenzie and Seubert started every game last year, including the four play-off games. O’Hara missed only the wild-card game at Tampa Bay with a knee injury. Diehl has started every game (86) the Giants have played since he was drafted out of the University of Illinois in 2003. And, of course, they all played like seasoned vets in the Giants’ 17-14 Super Bowl win over the Patriots.

“They’re such a close-knit group of guys in the first place,” Manning says. “Then to have the same five guys for four years? That’s rare.”

They spend so much time with one another that, as O’Hara puts it, “by the end of the season, we’re finishing each other’s sentences.”

“It’s like ESP,” says McKenzie. “It gets to be scary at times.”

Which leads to the most transcendent of athletic quests: performing hard things in cohesion without even speaking, the ephemeral realm where the whole becomes far greater than the sum of its parts. It is an offensive lineman’s vision of perfection. “You’ll be on the road where it’s loud and hostile, and all five guys are on the same page, and you play nonverbally,” says Diehl. “To not even talk? To go off of looks? Unless you’re an offensive lineman, you don’t know.”

Isn't that an incredible article? This just about sums it up for me. I bolded what really stood out to me. The individuals of the team really need to ditch the ego and do what is best for the team always.

Now the big question at hand...do the Detroit Lions deserve a bailout just as GM, Chrysler & Ford are begging? Do the Lions need a financial bailout or an attitude bailout? Don't mind the details on what type of bailout it will be...but what will they learn from a bailout and how will they grow from it? My point is this, they aren't going to learn a darn thing. If the Feds bailout the Big Three, what are we teaching the Big Three and what are we teaching the American people? I understand that the Big 3 are claiming that by not bailing them out the economy will be effected even worse-I get it. And yes I don't want more people to lose their jobs...but what the economy of the United States is experiencing is much more than just a temporary cold. Being injected with millions of dollars won't solve the problem.

The problem lies within the people of the organization. If we bailout the Big 3 are they even going to change their business model? Times like these cause people to change, grow and adapt. And after the bailout are people going to all of the sudden start buying cars? I don't think so.

What separates the good from the great are people who can take ownership of their failure, digest it, learn from it and become more successful for experiencing that failure. I don't know how much the Detroit Lions are being paid to lose this season. But in the world in which I play business...if I lose I don't make any money, I actually lose money for failing. Risk vs. Reward. This is what the American people are all about, when you trip and fall, you get back up, don't you ever quit-that is what everybody else does. How many of the Detroit Lions team players have quit? How many of them have walked, threw in the towel and said, "I'm done playing football"?

Achieving success can be hard. But guess what, you can do hard things. Never give up!

What does it take for success to smile upon you?

Success is a peculiar achievement. Everyone has their own way of gauging whether or not they were successful. For me, one type of financial success is being financially independent meaning: I have more passive income than I do monthly expenses. Which means I really don't need to go out and work that month, per se. I will admit I have not reached that point in my career but I'm working at it.

Now, I was speaking with a friend of mine and I mentioned that I had 'risked everything' to be where I am today. And I sat there and thought..."was this a wise choice or a foolish one?" For me, I want it so bad that I am willing to push it to the limits in order to accomplish what I desire...I have to! I then thought "if this totally falls apart and if I don't achieve what I want; what will I do?" There is nothing else I want to do right now. There is no point in me slowing down or looking back. I do what I know best and that is keep pushing and pushing.

What's funny is that in today's society we typically don't come across the celebrities, athletes or business owners until they have reaped a certain level of success in their career. And we think, "Well that was easy for them...why does success smile upon them so quickly and not me?" But what we don't know is what they were doing in the trenches of pre-success, day in day out.

So, are you willing to risk everything to be successful? What is it going to take? It can be mentally & emotionally draining to get there, I will promise you that. Is it worth it and are you willing to do it?

Back in March of this year (2008) I was posed with a predicament. To stay afloat financially that month I needed to make a sacrifice and sell my Toyota Tacoma truck. Which meant: we would be a one car family-very inconvenient and I lost my truck manhood-very depressing. But I weighed the options in my head, "Do I want to give up this truck for $10,000 now to continue to pursue my dreams and then be able to buy any car I want or do I keep it so I can appear to be keeping up with the Jones's?" I sold it and my wife did it in less than 24 hours on craigslist.org

Anyhow, right after I sold the truck I found myself carless and I called my wife to see if she could pick me up? She said, "Why don't you just drive home?" So, to buy myself time while I waited for her to come pick me up, I walked over to the grocery store and picked up Men's Journal for the first time (which is a pretty darn good magazine if you are a man) and came across this story on Dwayne Johnson "The Rock". To be honest I have really enjoyed the films he has been in, so I read the story from beginning to end (because I had the time and I wasn't going anywhere any time soon).

My point, Dwayne Johnson traveled his tough road to be where he is now. He was a fighter in high school. They were evicted from their apartment, their car was repossessed, parents split and they ate chicken McNuggets for dinner. He messed up his shoulder playing college football, then it was his back. His intentions were to play NFL, he didn't get drafted and ended up back at home with his parents pulling weeds for $10 a hour. You will need to read his story - its incredible!

The secret ingredient for the recipe of success is Persistence & Tenacity. I urge you to never give up, stay focused and go get your dreams.